Droning On

October 2025 

I grew up in an era where milk was still delivered to the house in glass bottles that sat outside on the porch until you brought them in.  And in a world where, as a 7-year-old, I walked around my neighborhood with a little red wagon and sold the produce that we grew, collecting money and never getting cheated.  Tomatoes, green peppers and squash were a quarter each back then. It was a different world in so many ways. 

Now we have AI, Amazon, Door Dash and all kinds of strange stuff.  If a 7-year-old came to my door now, I have a doorbell camera and would just tell him or her to go away.  I get my vegetables from Hello Fresh now. I wouldn’t even have to get up from my laptop to answer the door, in either case. 

I was watching my Michigan State Spartan football team the other day.  We had a big rivalry game against the hated Wolverines from the University of Michigan.  I wasn’t watching so much for the game, I knew MSU would lose, and they did.  I was watching because of the halftime show.  Yes, yes, I like the bands, but what I was really interested in was the fact that they were going to have a “drone show”.  I’ve been kind of infatuated with drones lately.  Pondering what is next in the world of “dronery”.

By the way, where did they get the name drone anyway?  And why did we so easily accept it? To me, when I was a 7-year-old, I learned that a drone was a male worker bee.  As I aged, I learned that some people tend to drone on and on about things.   Sort of like what I am doing right now.  But why “drone” for the flying thing that is getting so sophisticated it is replacing marching bands at half time shows? It’s like a household name now.

These days, drones are being used for just about everything.  They can deliver anything from bombs to pizzas. I’ve seen videos of them fishing.  Soon the skies will be full of them.  They can even use them to help pursue and catch criminals.  Back in my day the cop had to drop his donut and chase the bad guys, now they just send out a drone and it fires a laser and drops him.  Ok, ok, maybe we are not quite to that point yet, but how far in the future can it be?  Drones will probably even deliver coffee and donuts soon too. I’m sure the police will like that. Maybe they will even call them “Drone-uts?”.

It's harvest time here now.  I was driving around with my daughter and saw a set of drones flying over fields full of drying corn.  I visualized a farmer sitting at his kitchen table eating donuts and drinking coffee saying, “Hey Siri, go check the corn”. And with that simple command, a small fleet of drones flies out to examine and measure all sorts of things, telling the futuristic farmer when it’s ready to harvest.  Someday the drone will just fly into the barn and tell the combine to go out and do just that.  Taking the farmer right out of the loop. Maybe it already has.

Several of my neighbors, including the one next door, have ground based drones that mow their lawn and grind up their leaves. It has all kinds of sensors and is programmed to go back and charge itself when it gets low on battery. It can mow intricate patterns on his lawn. I often wonder when it grinds up the leaves how it avoids the big piles of poo left on our yards by the neighbor’s dog?  I’m sure there will be a drone someday for picking up poo.  I can see it now, flying around with that little plastic baggy full of poop.

My neighbor, the same dude with the ground-based drone, flew his drone camera up in our neighborhood and sent my wife a picture of our maple tree in full, autumn color.  It was a wonderful shot and really beautiful.  I guess you have to have more than one drone per household now.  Like TVs back when I was a 7-year-old.  I remember when we got our first TV but not our second one. If I’m not careful I am going to develop a serious case of drone envy.

I hear there are little mini drones, the size of an insect that can fly around and spy on you. They were designed for a variety of reasons, including using them to pollinate plants.  We used to have real insects provided by nature to do that.  Coincidentally, I think they were also called drones.  When I was a 7-year-old anyway.

But now here we are, with insect-like mechanical drones pollinating our fruit trees. Soon they will make honey too. They are likely already floating around our houses watching us.  I guess that is why my ears are always ringing.  I have read that they can even be programmed to avoid being crushed by a flyswatter.  I knew there had to be a reason I always missed those damn things. I think my wife is convinced that they exist. She is certain they are going to catch her naked, so she bundles up both before and after a shower like a mummy.  I think she dresses in the dark. She might even shower in the dark for all I know.  I hope the drone pilot next door doesn’t invest in one of these tiny things. I don’t need him to send those pictures around to the neighbors.

For some unknown reason, probably my geriatric ADD, I am now recalling the time many years ago that we bought our teenage son a drone for Christmas. It was very small and low tech, but still fun to fly around the house.  Of course, being young and inquisitive he had to try to fly the thing outdoors.  And of course, he flew it too high, and a gust of wind caught the mini, made to be flown indoors only drone, and it was gone.  We never found it.  It might still be flying for all I know.

Whatever the case, it seems drones are here to stay. And I am sure we have only scratched the surface on what they will be doing.  I’m also certain, now that I have been thinking, talking and writing about them, my Facebook feed will be full of nothing but drone discount sales and techniques to keep my ears from ringing. Maybe even ads for a new and improved fly swatter. For now, I’ll just be content without ordering a drone.  I’m still waiting for the X-ray glasses I ordered from a comic book when I was a 7-year-old.  But that won’t keep me from droning on and on and on and on…