Growing up in the 1960’s and 1970’s

April 2022

Today I ponder the strangeness of the past.  Especially how we raised children.  I have a new grandson. Well, he’s not super new, he’s relatively new as he just turned two. Commiserate with that age, he is beginning to get into mischief. More likely, we are just less accommodating to his mischief, as he has been a very active and inquisitive child since he became mobile. But now is the time when you start to help him make good decisions.

All along, my daughter, who tries hard to be a progressive parent, has worked diligently at providing positive reinforcement versus negative. For example, trying not to use the word “No”. I have gone along, and with fairly modest success. For a grandpa anyway. Especially given the way my generation grew up. This has given me pause to consider some of the things my parents said to me, as they raised me through the 1960’s and 1970’s. In other words, the stone age of parenting. Yet here we are.

Now, before I take a walk down memory lane, let me be clear, I am not an advocate for anything here that follows. I just feel compelled to shed light on the headwinds involved with becoming a stable adult growing up in, and through, this “barbaric” era. I say this in a tongue in cheek way.  As any era, especially when discussing parenting, can look exceedingly troublesome when looking back without context.  Again, yet here we are.

Now, much of what you will see below was used for what my daughter terms as FOG; Fear, Obligation and Guilt. Child rearing tools I apparently used more frequently than I like to remember. Maybe not in the poetic style of my parents, but with my own flair. Remember, I learned from members of the all-star team of condescension.  So it was only natural to bring some of the tools used to raise me, to my own parental toolbox.

My brothers and I, in fact everyone I knew growing up, live through an array of disciplinary mechanisms.  Spanking, face slapping, no dinner, being grounded, given nasty chores (often including a bathroom and a toothbrush) and the classic...public embarrassment. Ahh the memories! Nowadays these types of punishments might be met with lawsuits. Maybe even from your children.

But mainly, it was a war of words.  Verbal threats and ridicule were critical to parenting in that era. As I reminisced, I was amazed at some of the things I recalled hearing from that checkered past of my childhood.  Here is a small sampling.  I’m sure you remember a few of these:

FEAR

“That doesn’t concern you!”

“Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about!”

“Wipe that smile off your face or I’ll wipe it off for you!”

“Don’t make me pull over!”

“So you think that’s funny, I’ll show you funny!”

“Just wait till your dad gets home!”

“Do you want your mouth washed out with soap?”

“You’ll take someone’s eye out with that!”

“This can only end with someone getting hurt!”

“I won’t ask again!”

OBLIGATION

“Because I said so!”

“Just do it!” Innovative, as this was long before Nike came up with it

“Who do you think you are?”

“You’re not getting up until you finish that.”

“You’ll have to be sicker than that to miss school”

“Remember, you’re a guest in this house”

“When I was your age…”

“Back in my day...”

GUILT

“You’ll be the death of me!”

“Take it or leave it”

“You don’t have the sense God gave a goose”

“If I told you once I told you a thousand times...”

“If someone asked you to jump off a cliff. Would you?”

“Were you born in a barn?”

MONEY

“Do you think we own the electric company?”

“Close the fridge! Are you trying to chill the whole kitchen?”

“What do you think I am, a bank?”

“Money doesn’t grow on trees you know!”

PITY

“Get up, you’ll live!”

“Rub some dirt on it!”

“I don’t see any bones hanging out, get moving”

I try to remember that our parents were attempting to keep us safe, teach us critical lessons about life and generally keep us out of the hospital or jail. Yet, read out of context, these are appalling.  It is amazing that using these verbal tactics was so common. Everyone from this era, and even some people today, will remember or use some of the above. As damaging as they may be.  Especially in today’s world.

Yet here we are!  Somehow, we survived.  I guess no harm, no foul.  Here I am, a successful, completely stable human being that has helped raise two amazing children with no problems at all. Ha Ha! All’s well, that ends well. 

Anyway, wipe that smile off your face or I’ll wipe it off for you! Who do you think you are? If I told you once I told you a thousand times, stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about! Back in my day we didn’t read such trash.  You’ll be the death of me for sure!