Memories

November 2021

Today I ponder memories. Not that chemical process in your brain that allows information to be stored and retrieved, but the actual things; events that happen when we interact with our environment.  Usually other people.

If you’re doing it right, and you have a little luck, you spend a great deal of your life making memories. As you enter your latter years, you spend a fair amount of time trying to remember them. Sometimes, it’s a bit like putting a jigsaw puzzle together in the dark. And almost as much fun!

If you’re lucky enough to have friends that were involved in making these memories, they can help you piece it all together as you reminisce. This can be both fun and a challenge at times, as memories are often stretched for all, and the natural occurrence of “selective memory” also occurs. There are a variety of things some people just might not want to remember. Or they remember it in a way that you don’t. Then you wonder if what you’re remembering are selective memories of your own. It’s a vicious cycle in life.

If you’re like me, most of my reminiscence comes with friends I have had for ages.  And alcohol.  It seems like when we get together and have a few cocktails, dormant memories come to life.  The recantation of exploits from long ago resurface. Each of us has a piece to add to the puzzle, and slowly in a collective way we reexperience the thrills of the past.  Or the humiliation. Or the pain. Or the anger. Or the grief.  We try to stick to the fun things.  But what is fun for one, is not often fun for all! Especially as memories fade. 

Luckily, it’s only a short period of time this occurs for most. Then you get to the point where you just start making shit up. If you’re convincing enough, those can become new memories for all involved. It’s the circle of lies... I mean life. And it is happening to you right now, especially if you’re over 50.

The other thing about these latter years is the wander and wonder factor. You spend a ton of time wandering around and wondering why and what was the cause of this wandering.  It’s certainly the wonder years. Wonder where I parked, wonder where I left my wallet, wonder where I put my phone. Wonder where that mustard drip on my shirt came from. Wonder why I am wearing two different shoes. Wonder why my leg hurts. Likely from all the wandering. Truly wonderful!

Oh, by the way, don’t let anyone ever tell you that growing old sucks. Growing old is an honor. It may not always be a pleasure but most certainly it’s better than the alternative. No matter what you believe comes next, most of us want to hang around as long as we can. 

The longer you keep wandering, and wondering, the longer you continue to make memories for others to piece together, if they have the privilege of growing old. Then they will become the new set of wandering wonderers. Keeping the cycle of lies going. Memories are like that.  Sometimes they are real and other times they become what we want them to be. I don’t know.  I think there is freedom in being forgetful.  What was I pondering again? Where are my keys?