Memories of My Mom

August 30, 2025 

I have been pondering about my mother lately. It’s normal for me to think about her, but recently, she’s been on my mind almost every day. Probably because it’s August, so she would have been 98 years old yesterday, on the 29th. And it’s 2025, so she has been gone almost 8 years now. Regardless, memories of her are still very strong with me. I’d love to have one last chat with her. Ask her questions about things only she could answer. I am so often hungry for her cooking. I think of her every time I step into the kitchen.  Often wishing I could call her to ask about a recipe for some odd dish she prepared.  Most of which I didn’t love when she cooked them, but now they seem like delicacies to me.

She was an old-fashioned mom.  She ironed my dad’s tee shirts and boxers. Even his handkerchiefs. She made breakfast and then everyone’s bed each morning. She cooked dinner every day.  It was always served exactly at 5pm because my dad often worked a second job in the evenings.  So yes, we were spoiled rotten!

As far as cooking goes, we were moderately poor, so she had to make do with what we had. Some days that wasn’t much.  But she always knew how to make a little go a long way. We also had farmers in our family, so we got a lot of fresh fruit and vegetables. She canned or froze just about everything when it was in season, so it would be available year-round. There was always something to pull out of the canning closet or the freezer. Overall, she kept it very simple in the kitchen. Pretty much salt and pepper were her go to seasonings.

Oddly enough, we always had a dessert. Even if it was just pudding or fruit.  Her pies were legendary.  There were strawberry, raspberry, apple, rhubarb, pecan and pumpkin. Depending on the season, of course.  And most days, when we came home from school, there was something she had baked or made.  The smells still echo in my brain of fresh bread, muffins, cookies, or if we were lucky, homemade biscuits.

Dinners were always eaten together at the kitchen table. And I still crave some of the oddities that she contrived.  Things like cream chipped beef on toast, Swiss steak, liver and onions, or fried Spam. Golumpki, which is what we called stuffed cabbage in our house, was a frequent main dish.  Fried chicken with biscuits and gravy was an infrequent treat.  We ate goulash once a week. Which was just hamburger, tomatoes, noodles and whatever else she had in the house to throw in it. So, it was largely peasant foods that were the staples of our household. 

Recently, I have been on a soup and sandwich kick.  Another reason I’m thinking of my mom.  She made fantastic Egg salad, Tuna salad and Ground bologna sandwiches.  All had recipes that were unique and very much her own.  All of her soups originated from leftovers, so they are hard to duplicate.  But they usually contained cabbage and potatoes, because they were the cheapest things she could buy. 

Holidays were sacred to my mom and extremely traditional. Each with different foods but exactly the same menu for each holiday. Her big three were, of course, Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter.  It broke her heart when her sons all got married and moved away.  Then she had to share their holiday time with another family.  She never hid how difficult this was for her.  She was a very family-centered lady.  A very interesting personality all around.

She had a way with words, and she loved to talk.  I’d love to hear her say one of her little sayings again. She would lace her conversation with her own peculiar vernacular.  Just sitting here in front of the computer, I am able to recall quite a few.  Mainly because I still use some of them and they are a bit legendary with my kids. For example…

• If someone had a task to do, and it was obvious he was meticulous or detailed, he was, “Slower than molasses and it’ll take him a month of Sundays to get that done.”

• When we were going to visit a friend or relative that was religious, we were told, “You’ll have to mind your P’s & Q’s, they are holier than thou over there.”

• When surprised, she often exclaimed, “Well… land of Goshen!”

• When exasperated by something, her favorite line was, “Well Hell’s bells!”

• If someone had very little worth to society, we might hear her say, “They don’t amount to a hill-a-beans!”

• If someone was upset for no visible reason, she would declare, “She must have a bee in her bonnet!”

• If she felt someone really messed something up, she might state, “They’ve gone to hell in a hand basket!”

• If something didn’t work, you might hear her say, “Well that went over like a lead ballon!”

• When you did something silly you might get, “That’s what you get for having mush between your ears!”

• If someone was talking to much about nothing, she would say, “He’s just talking to hear his head rattle.”

• When someone was throwing his money around, we would be informed, “He spends his money like a drunken sailor.” 

• When she didn’t want us to get our hopes up, she would say, “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch!” 

• If someone was doing something that impressed her, she might state, “He was running like the dickens”, or “She was running to beat the band!”

• If someone was making what she considered poor decisions, she would comment, “They don’t have a lick of sense” or “They don’t have the brains God gave a goose!”

• If we asked for her to buy us something frivolous at the store, we would certainly hear, “Money doesn’t grow on trees” or “What do you think, we’re made of money?” 

  
  

• If we perhaps left the outside door open, she would utter, “Were you born in a barn?”

• When we were young, if we happened to be crying about something, she might retort, “You better quit, or I will give you somethin’ to cry about!”

  
  

• If we were upset about something small, we would hear, “You’re making a mountain out of a mole hill”

• If someone was never on time she would say, “He’s always a day late and a dollar short.”

• If the job we did just wasn’t quite good enough, she might comment, “That just won’t cut the mustard.”

• If someone was really poor, she would comment, “They don’t have a pot to pee in, or a window to throw it out of!”

• I took her to the store once, later in her life, as we got to the checkout she exclaimed, “We are in a real pickle here, I left my billfold with the checkbook on the davenport!  I must be losing my marbles!” So many antiquated expressions in the same sentence!

What a joy it was to hear her voice as I typed those sayings!  She certainly had an adage for every occasion.  Usually spiced with just the right level of cynicism.  She was a woman that fought depression and anxiety her whole life, yet she raised four boys and stayed married to a difficult man for 65+ years. She had her quirks, but they helped her find a way to pilot a course through a very difficult set of life circumstances.  She was not always happy, but she was always there.   

And because of that, my mom’s lessons of fortitude, gentleness, hard work, and integrity still shine through for me.  They really have stood the test of time.  They certainly inspire me now, as they always have, helping me navigate through my own circumstances and the complexities of the present day.

Pondering these phrases and memories reminds me of a simpler time.  They also seem to create a bridge between multiple generations as they are memories I share with my own children.  Often, in the hope they will ponder me when I am gone with the same fondness and affection that I remember my mother.  Even if I can’t get them to eat Creamed chipped beef on toast or Spam. They just don’t realize that beggars can’t be choosers!  Wait a minute! There’s another one!