Retirement

February 2023

Today I ponder retirement.  A moderately common theme for me to be contemplating at this stage of my life.  I turned 60 this year and feel the time has come. It’s my second attempt. I think I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.  This time, I’m focused on actually retiring for good.  This time I think it might be for real.

Like most people, I have spent years imagining my retirement.  Hedonistic thoughts of world travel, improving my golf game, fishing, gardening, and of course, more time to write.  Sometimes these reflections are about simply enjoying the freedom to relax and take it easy for a change. With no alarm clock!

But now, as I approach the true eventuality of being “without a job”, my thoughts have begun to move from planning the joys of retirement, to anticipating the emotional shock of not having a place in the working world.  A status I have held for the last 40 plus years.

I worked for 30 years with my first real company, a huge multinational corporation.  It was a great gig.  Throughout my career there, I worked in a variety of different functions and geographies.  So it stayed fresh for 3 decades.  It was a company that shaped who I became, and in some ways, I helped shape them.  I will always be thankful for the opportunities I had there. Every year I moved forward, increasing both my responsibilities and my salary. 

After leaving that organization, I joined a much smaller, start-up company.  This move was both a challenge and an advancement. Different problems to solve.  Over the last 4 years I have again progressed, both in my compensation and organizational impact.  I have helped build something from scratch.  Now that all will come to an end.

My ponderings are about just that.  Yes, I’ll miss the money, but I have set myself up quite well there. What I truly worry about is that I may overwhelmingly yearn for the sense of identity, or the feelings of self-worth, that my career provided. Maybe I’ll miss the structure that it gave my days, or even the social aspect of having co-workers and peers that value me and my counsel.

I am concerned that instead of feeling freedom, relaxation, and fulfilment, I may become bored and directionless. I truly worry that I may grieve the loss of my old life. Possibly from the validation that it demonstrates I am nearing the end of it. Or maybe that my role in society is gone.

I guess no matter how I slice it, no matter how much I’ve been looking forward to it, retiring from my long career will be a major life-changing event.  And not always in a positive way.  While I generally have contemplated the benefits of retiring, the more I think about it, I see many, many things I will miss that are truly a part of who I am. 

Like giving advice, solving problems, and providing the benefits of my experience by coaching amazing people. I love watching people grow. Being a part of that growth. Now I will do it from the sidelines.  If I do it at all.

I guess it’s good to have these thoughts prior to leaving behind the working world.  Getting myself ready.  Realizing that I will have to take the good with the bad.  I am certain there must be healthy ways to adjust to this new chapter in my life.  Ways to ensure my retirement is both happy and fulfilling. 

There must be, as many other people I know have found contentment after leaving the working world.  In fact, many cite that they waited too long to pull the trigger and wished they had given themselves more time. Likely knowing they will run out of time well before they run out of money.  But to me, it’s so much more than that.

Regardless, I’m sure I can and will adapt. I guess if I spend the energy on retirement in the same way I did working, I will be all right.  Most importantly, I hope my wife is ready for this new chapter!  I’m sure she is pondering her own concerns about keeping her sanity with me being around so much.  Looking for things to do.  Advising and coaching and solving problems.  Yikes!  I guess on second thought, I feel sorrier for her than me!  I guess it’s not just my life that will be changing. I better hide all the sharp objects. That’ll be my first retirement project.