A Twist of Fate

May 2026

Today I am pondering strange coincidences.  I had to go to the dentist the other day. Nothing remarkable about that.  I do it every six months.  What was going to be different was that I was going to have someone new putting their hands in my mouth to clean my teeth.  My hygienist from the last million years was the same woman.  She finally decided to retire. 

You get accustomed to people like doctors and dentists and hygienists and barbers.  At least I do.  I am extremely loyal to these people.  I have had the same doctor for 35 years and the same woman cuts my hair that has done so for more than 25 years.  But to be honest, that loyalty is based mostly upon my own comfort.  People that are going to stick their hands in my mouth, or in my hair or in, God knows, other places of my body, need to be familiar.  That’s how I feel anyway.

So, I was thinking about this as I got in my truck to go to the dentist’s office.  A little anxious.  A little uptight. I was running a little late.  It was just past lunchtime, but I hadn’t eaten, because I do not like to eat right before I get my teeth cleaned. I make this mild sacrifice because I like to think I am doing them a favor.  But today, my hunger also made me a little edgy.  

It didn’t help that as I got on a busy stretch of road near my neighborhood a car pulled out of a McDonald’s right in front of me.  I nearly hit them! Blaring my horn in protest I got a casual wave from the woman behind the wheel; I guess acknowledging her error.  I was satisfied, for the moment.

As I continued to follow this driver down the road, I couldn’t help but notice she was gobbling down her McDonald's feast.  And doing so was causing her to drive quite erratically. She was all over the road!  Each bite of her burger, or sip of her soda, sent her either careening into the other lane or off the side of the road. Her speed varying between slow and slower.  She was cruising well below the speed limit.  Likely a very good thing, given how she was driving.

Now I am a stickler for being punctual. But today I had gotten a late start and that was stressing me out.  I had planned on being a little early for my appointment because my dentist’s office is notorious for making you fill out the same forms you filled out the last time you were there.  You know the ones, those with all the health questions and information about familial history of diseases and other health maladies.  Like your family history is going to change?  Crazy!

Anyway, I don’t like to be late for anything, so this woman’s driving was really getting to me.  Especially when we stopped at a red light where she could have gone right on red, but sat there, gorging away my opportunity to make up a little time.  To compound this, when the light finally did turn green, she was so busy stuffing her face with fries and the like, that she didn’t notice the light had changed.  I had to use my horn again to get her to move. 

Finally, as we both turned and moved on to a busy four lane street where I could get around her, she moved quickly from the right lane to the left and cut me off.  I was now beside myself!  I leaned on my horn yet again.  Now, this is just not something I normally do. I am generally a pretty calm and patient driver. Very tolerant of other's miscues. But this person was really being a menace. As I shifted lanes to get around her, I slowed to give her a look.  I gave her a really good, long stare. She flipped me off of course. Like it was my fault she was driving like a starving idiot. I quickly pulled away from her to get to my appointment.

I got to the dentist on time but barely. I got further annoyed when, sure enough, they made me fill out the same paperwork I had filled out 6-months prior at my appointment then. Regardless, it took forever for me to get called in.  My appointment was at 1pm and it was at least 1:30 when I finally sat in the chair.

My new hygienist escorted me to her work area. Introducing herself and apologizing for her lateness. Of course, she was fully masked up, so I couldn't see her face, just her eyes. She seemed like a nice-looking young lady.  In the next few minutes, I found her to be very engaging and actually quite funny.  Like all hygienists, she asked me too many questions while she probed around in my mouth.  She again apologized for being late and over the course of the cleaning she explained why.

Apparently, she had been out to lunch and was rushing back to the office when a virtual madman in a big truck was driving crazy behind her, seemingly trying to run her off the road.  My heart sank like the Titanic! I am sure my eyes were as wide as pie plates.  I’m not sure if I took a breath for the next 10 minutes or so while she continued to tell her side of the story, while scraping my teeth with a sharp instrument. 

It all started when she was in a rush after having to use her lunch time to pick up her sick child at school and take him to her parents.  She left him crying with her mom, which made her feel awful, but she had to get back to work. This was only her second week on the job. After leaving her mom’s she was starving and pulled into McDonalds to quickly grab something at the drive through.  Of course, the line took forever. 

Then, she mistakenly pulled out in front of this guy in the truck.  She apologized, she said.  But he wasn’t content with that.  He drove right on her tail, as if he was trying to run her off the road.  He had made her so nervous she almost called 911. Finally, her fear turned toward anger when he pulled around and she could see it was just some old man in too much of a hurry.  She didn’t think to get the license plate number but if she had, she would have reported him.  It had made her so upset she had to take a few minutes once she got back to the office to calm herself down. 

Wow!  Of course, it had to be me she was talking about!  Did she recognize me and was just being polite?  Or could she just be coyly baiting me?  Or maybe, my mildly tinted truck windows did not allow her to clearly identify her would be assailant.  At least not well enough for a proper ID. I sat there in terror as she continued to use sharp objects to carve away the tartar on my teeth.  At any moment, I expected one of those instruments to find its way into my jugular. 

I decided to just listen, make grunts of acknowledgment, and keep my cool. Besides, from my perspective, she was the menace, and I was the victim!  It almost made me want to confess and admonish her for her distracted driving.  Then I thought, I guess I was a part of what made her distracted!  It’s all a matter of perspective, isn’t it?  I felt a little guilty.  No, I felt a lot guilty! Sad, that for no reason at all I had stressed out someone.  Just because I myself was stressed out.

Regardless, what a coincidence! A fluke of fortune, a twist of fate, had brought us together, just a little bit before we were truly supposed to meet.  We both were behaving badly because we were in a hurry.  Both going to the exact same place.  Quite literally.

Well fate brought us together but under duress.  Yet, I quickly realized she did not recognize me.   She finished her work and after a cursory check by the dentist I was on my way. Sheepishly, I left the office.  To cover my tracks, I took a long walk around the parking lot before I went to my truck.  When I got there, I quickly drove away.

On my ride home, I reflected.  You never really know what other people around you are going through. Usually, it’s much worse than what you are.  The sad thing is I know this.  But selfishness kills empathy.  I was stressed.  Yet for no good reason.  And for no good reason I made someone else more so. I just lucked out that she didn’t recognize me.  Or worse yet, I lucked out by not inadvertently causing an accident. 

I contemplated this long after I got home.  Pondering another lesson learned.  I’m retired.  I don’t need to hurry anywhere.  I have the ability to lift others, why would I do anything to make someone feel bad?  Even if I do not know the circumstances, I know everyone is struggling with something. All she needed was a simple act of kindness. A little patience.  This twist of fate was an epiphany.  I decided then and there to slow myself down.  To seek to see the best in others. To tread softly.  All of this made my conscience and soul feel a little cleaner, as well as my teeth!