Hopelessly Humorless

February 2026

I often ponder why there is not as much laughter in my life as there once was.  Nor in the world in general.  These days it’s easier to see all of the bad that goes on.  It’s harder to see the good things in life and the funny things.  And that is a real loss.  Both for me and for society.  I think about this all the time. Then, I began to wonder if maybe the reason that there is so little humor is because we fail to embrace it.  Or to even recognize it when it comes along. Personally, I often seem to actively avoid it. 

The other day I was meeting a friend of mine for lunch. We decided to meet at an old haunt of ours. Just a dive bar we still loved to frequent. I was early, but I walked in to wait. As expected, there were only a few people in the place at noon on a Tuesday. Regardless, I bellied up to the bar, ordered a beer and stared at the TV on the wall, occasionally glancing at my phone. Which is my custom.  Nowadays we are never alone, we always have our phones!  

I was only there a few moments; I hadn’t even taken a sip of my beer yet.  I was just settling in, when older guy walked in, quite a bit older than me, and took the stool next to mine. Even though there were a load of empty stools all down the length of the bar. We both muttered a cursory hello, and I went back to staring at my phone. He was waiting for the singular bartender, who was also the chef. She was making chili dogs for the other guys that were in the place. It was going to be a minute. 

Out of the blue he asks me if I know any jokes. I quickly, and a little uncomfortably, said that I did not. I told him I wasn’t good at remembering jokes, nor was I very good at telling them. With that, I quickly went back to my phone. That didn’t stop him. Without pause, he carried on. Reluctantly, I turned to listen.  I was a little annoyed, but I still have manners, even at my advanced age and with the bluntness that accompanies it. 

He was saying, “An old guy walked into a bar last week and this beautiful woman was sitting alone. He walked up to her and said, “Hey good lookin’, do I come here often?” I chuckled. “That’s a good one. I might be able to remember that”. It was cute, I had to admit that.  I began to turn back for a sip of my beer, but he continued. 

“Same guy, next day, walked into the bar with dog shit in each hand. He says to the bartender, “Hey! Look what I could have stepped in!” Another chuckle. Another thank you.  I turned and finally got a sip of my beer.  By that time, the bartender came down, he ordered his beer. As she walked away and down the bar to fill up the glass, he started telling me what I thought was a story. So of course, I turned to listen.

“I come from Milwaukee. We have lots of bars like this there. You can go into a new one every day for a year and not get to them all. The other day I walked into one I hadn’t been to in a while. On the door there was this sign that said, Cheese Sandwich: $2.00; Chicken Sandwich: $4.50; Hand Job: $20.00.

So, I obviously decided to go in. I walked up to the bar, it was a lot like this one here, and a drop-dead gorgeous blonde was serving drinks to a group of grinning old men. She seemed to be the only one working in the place, like our bartender here. 

After a bit, she walked down to me and said, "Now what can I do for you today?" She had an evil little smile as she gave me a wink. 

"I was wondering," I whispered, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"

"Yes," she said seductively, "I am."

“Now what do you think I said to her?”, he asked me.  I told him I had no idea.

“Well, I told her to wash her damn hands! I wanted one of those cheese sandwiches."

Again, I laughed and thanked him for his humor. Recanting that I wished I could remember and tell jokes like he did. As his beer arrived, I told the bartender to put that one on me.  He winked and thanked me. As he walked away, he quipped, “I used to know a lot of jokes but my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. To go along with that, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be”.

Again, I chuckled.  I was really starting to enjoy this guy!  He sat down in a chair at a table across the way and concluded his show with, “I need to tell you this last thing… as you get older 3 things happen.  The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two”.  I held up my glass, he held up his, and we toasted one another.

I sat there thinking, humor isn’t dead.  It’s out there everywhere.  We just need to let it in.  Put down our phones and listen to old men that tell stories.  They are not all like me.  I am good at over thinking things. Writing long winded stories.  There are other people out there that use humor as small talk, which is another thing that seems to be dying.  We can learn so much about humor and life by just talking to people and listening. Like we used to.

When my friend arrived, he immediately noticed what a good mood I was in.  I said, “An old guy walked into a bar last week…” He put down his phone and listened.  I got all three jokes right.  And he laughed at them all!  It felt really good!  Humor is truly medicinal.