Just Flossing it Over

April 2026

I have a dental appointment in three weeks, so my oral hygiene alarm clock just rang. It’s time to start preparing.  Almost like cramming for a test!  Now, to be clear, I brush my teeth every day. Quite frequently, I do it twice a day... Ok, occasionally... Alright, maybe once a week... Or so.

Regardless, I have a fancy, jaw rattling, ultrasonic toothbrush that I love. Thankfully, my teeth have always been healthy. I have only had two cavities, and they were discovered and filled when I was a teenager. I’ve had no real problems since.  Whew!

But with my pending dental appointment and cleaning, my twice-yearly ritual begins. My normal regimen gets kicked up to an entirely new level.  My brushing sessions are now religiously twice a day, and much more intense and of a greater duration. But what I’m really talking about is the addition of that dreaded supplement to my normal routine.  The act of violently thrusting a waxed piece of string between my densely packed molars and incisors.  Executing the task of mining below my gum line.  Yes, you know what I’m talking about.  The dreaded act of flossing.

So, for the next three weeks prior to my appointment my flossing really ramps up. I’ll try not to lie to you about how often I conduct this apparently essential part of oral hygiene when I am not in the throes of trying to prepare for an exam. Because if I’m honest, the vague answer I would provide is “infrequently”.  But I tell my hygienist, “Once a week or so”.  Her look of suspicion is consistently obvious. I just can’t make myself get into the practice, no matter how much I am cajoled to do so by extremist hygienists and zealot dentists. I hate it way too much! So today, I am pondering that heinous activity, its origin, and my loathing of it.

Flossing. I don’t even like the way the word looks. No one really knows where the term originates.  But in thinking about it, questions quickly come to mind.  Like where the heck did the action even come from?  How much do we really know about this dental practice? Does it truly serve a vital function other than maybe its ability to save you from the dreaded embarrassment of exposing teeth clinging spinach or parsley? Or those dreaded poppy seeds!  I’m a popcorn lover, so I am forever picking kernels from my teeth. Regardless of these obvious uses, with which a toothpick will generally suffice, is it as important as they say it is?  Given I want to help you make good choices in life, I did a little investigative research on the topic. 

People have been picking at their teeth for millennia.  Likely for as long as we have had teeth. They have done so with the help of various instruments, but the invention of floss is credited to one Levi Parmly, a New Orleans dentist. He started marketing this material and advocating this practice sometime in the early 1800s. The clever Dr. Parmly wanted to find a way to remove food that a simplistic, animal hair-based toothbrush of the 1800’s could not reach. Hypothesizing these nasty little bits led to unpleasant breath, or even gum disease. This practice took a while to catch on.  In my case, as with the majority of us, it still has not. Granted, if I have something in my teeth, I dig it out with whatever is handy. 

Floss was not widely available until the 1880’s and it was generally made of silk.  Which means it was expensive. Fifteen years after it first landed on shelves, knowing a business opportunity when it saw one, the Johnson & Johnson Corporation secured the first-ever patent for silk dental floss. Our gums would never be the same.

In the 1940s, along came fluorocarbon-based materials.  Which is another, less than wonderful, human invention I will discuss and expose on another day.  After this, floss began being made from nylon. Today, nylon is still one of the most widely utilized materials used to produce dental floss. As well as your toothbrush bristles.  Applying a waxed treatment on this nylon string came soon after, to create a more comfortable experience. So now you know why your floss glides so easily between your teeth. Oh please!

By the 1970s, which is during my formative years, dentists began recommending their patients floss at least once a day. And who doesn't commit to that daily practice, just as the dentist prescribes?  Well, I have uncovered studies by the American Dental Association that show only 16% of Americans “say” they floss daily. So, we know who the liars and miscreants are.

I also found data that indicates 27% of adults lie to their dentists about how often they floss their teeth.  More than a third of people surveyed would rather be doing “unpleasant chores” than flossing their teeth daily. An incredible 14% would rather clean the toilet than floss. I'm not sure I even go that far, but close! Now, that’s just the people that are being honest.  All of these data make me feel comfortable saying that I am not alone in my flossing aversion.   

To be fair, for a while, not too long ago, it was “Floss or you’ll die”.  There were studies linking flossing to increased lifespan.  But if you look closely, there is an equal body of evidence that goes the other direction. The conclusion I mostly found from consulting a multitude of medical journals is that “there is little scientific evidence that flossing your teeth makes a statistically significant difference when it comes to cavities and gum disease.”

The reasoning behind the "floss or you'll die" premise was the likely due to the research being conducted prior to the advent of fluoridated water, nearly universal/affordable dental care, as well as the arrival of better overall tools for cleaning your teeth, including ultrasonic brushes. I guess all these things are sufficient.  Oh well, bad news for Johnson and Johnson. Ok, I seriously don’t believe a decrease in floss sales will hurt their stock price!

But the bottom line is, for me anyway, that flossing is just an exceedingly unpleasant activity.  You may ask, what’s the worst part of flossing for me? Well, it’s almost impossible to choose. But let me try.  I mean, obviously, I don’t love bending over my sink, with my face jammed up by the mirror, drooling all over the place. I loathe looking at the contorted and hideous faces I make while heaving to see if I can get the barbed wire between teeth that long ago lost the clearance to allow it. 

I also fear developing stretch marks on my cheeks, from ramming my huge hands in a mouth not suited to handle such a large appendage. I abhor sweating and straining to find out what’s crammed between my molars, which turns out to be nothing, except possibly blood. I despise wrapping that wax covered, nylon noose around my fingers, watching them turn purple as the circulation gets cut off to the point of nearly losing a digit. Finally, I am disgusted by the taste of blood in my mouth, gleaming vampire-like, as I evaluate whether to apply a tourniquet around my neck to stop the bleeding.  All while preparing myself for a potential trip to the emergency room.

Ok, flossing isn’t really that bad.  And truthfully, it gets so much better if you do it regularly. Not that I would know, of course.  Anyway, that's what I hear. But for me, that’s just not going to ever happen.  I think I will just stick to my current routine.  Despite the fact that I must commit to 6-months of flossing in 3 weeks and then perjure myself with each dental visit.  But it’s worked so far.  I’ll just keep cramming for my exam.  I guess it beats bleeding to death!