Retiring Questions

May 2023 

The other day, someone asked me how I liked retirement. Ok, to tell the truth, everyone asks me that. It’s a daily inquiry. I may be newly retired, but I have become an expert at defending the practice. People think I must be miserable. “Don’t you miss working?”, they say. “How do you keep busy?”  “You must be so bored”.  Granted, I have only been truly retired for several months, and I just turned 60. So, I am relatively young to be retired.  But I am happy, and I have had plenty to do.  Is it different?  Well, yes, it is!  Today I’m pondering just that.

For me, the key element is time.  I now have more of it to do the things I wanted to do when I didn’t have the time or energy left to do them.  There are so many things that fall into this category.  Like spending quality time with my wife, just chatting, listening to her talk about her day and interests. I truly delight in her stories.  Sadly, through nearly 40 years of marriage, I never seemed to be able to pay full attention, nor garner joy in this.  That is, before retiring.  Our daily breakfasts together are a treasure and a great start to the day.  At least they are for me! 

Being around my adult children and grandchild is also fun.  Not always, but most of the time!  They are not used to seeing me so relaxed, so I think it makes them think I’m getting old. Which probably scares them a little.  A bought a new baseball glove and have been throwing the ball with my son.  We throw the football when we have the chance. Just to remind everyone I still got game! I enjoy wrestling with my grandson or taking walks with him to a stream near our home to throw stones in the water. I love having the time for these things.

I’ve been cooking so much more and everyone in my family is enjoying that with me.  I have also been experiencing the outdoors.  Long walks around our neighborhood.  Watching and feeding birds.  Hunting mushrooms. Being a gardener. Pulling weeds. Growing things has always been a passion.  This year I have had time to do it right.  My yard has never looked better.

We have a second home by Lake Michigan, and I love the water.  Watching big cargo ships arrive.  Long walks on the beach or merely sitting there just looking around. Yes, I have played some golf, but much less than I thought I would.  I’ve also done some fishing and extensive playing of my guitar. Things I always wanted to do but never felt I could. 

Again, it’s about time.  I now have the time to read, write, and work on crosswords at my leisure. Little chores that once lingered forever, I can take the time to work on.  I also don’t have to rush to finish everything.  Which makes even mundane tasks a lot more palatable. I can choose to be busy or to do nothing at all. And within all of this there is little, or no, guilt. Which is so refreshing!

It is really easy listing the things I don’t miss about working. It’s quite an inventory. Yet I suspect anyone that has endured a corporate environment like I did for 35+ years, would have a similar list. But here I go.  I don’t miss meetings and presentations. Talking about the same things over and over. I don’t miss acting happy and enthusiastic when you’re not. I was never miserable, but there is a certain amount of acting we all must do to succeed, isn’t there?  At least there was for me.

I don’t miss having work come home with me, affecting the way I feel in the rest of my life. Affecting those around me.  And not in a positive way.  I don’t miss feeling guilty when I am not at work or doing work. I could go on and on.  How about budgets, negativity, schedules, and deadlines? How about constant business travel and overwhelming political correctness? These things all lead to a stressful existence, unhealthy lifestyle, and poor sleep. Did I mention how well I sleep now?

I also have so much I am looking forward to. More things I never had time for.  Volunteering, hiking, and boating.  Maybe even skiing again?  At least getting fit enough to make it an option.  I look forward to extended train travel or cruises. I have already begun travel planning. I also want to finish the many bits and pieces of writing and wisdom I have started, but never finished.  Now that I have the time, I have the inclination! 

I have also renewed some friendships and continued coaching and mentoring people from my former work life.  Which are some of the things I truly loved about working.  Now that I think about it, I am actually a little too busy!  And there are still things on my list that I haven’t got to yet.  Lots of them.  And now I have the time, the health, and the resources to make them happen. Why wait until health fails before you start to live?

Yet it seems everyone thinks you must be working to enjoy life.  What are we waiting for?  Having put 40+ years of career behind me I’d like to “work” at something different now.  I hope everyone is ok with that.  Truly, I don’t mind what everyone thinks.  I’ll keep happily answering the questions. If this is miserable then I am looking forward to a whole lot more of it!